


some days i feel broke inside (but i won't admit)

by scheherazades



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, team canton forever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 19:19:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1790299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scheherazades/pseuds/scheherazades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s ‘I need you’ behind every ‘leave me alone.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	some days i feel broke inside (but i won't admit)

**Author's Note:**

> me again. one more fic before i go back to college tomorrow (boo). i'm really not sure what prompted this, other than the prompt in the summary. i was in a writing mood, i guess. as always, i'm desperate for love and attention so shower me with your feedback. (you don't have to, i am kidding, in case you didn't pick that up. but comments would be nice). special appearances by meryl and charlie because team canton forever.

There’s ‘I need you’ behind every ‘leave me alone.’

If Scott Moir had learnt one thing about his skating partner over the years, it was that 'leave me alone' never meant she wanted to be left alone. He'd learnt that the hard way multiple times before he did anything about it.

Training for their first Olympics had put immense pressure on them both; as athletes they were being pushed to their extremes, as partners their relationship was being pushed to the limit. They refused to be in the position they were in four years ago, to be so close to having all their dreams come true only to have them yanked away at the last minute, and by such a small margin. It couldn't and wouldn't happen.

Being named to Team Canada was one of the best feelings in the world. They worked and worked for their dream, and it was all so close to coming true. They had the spot, all they had to do was keep training, keep perfecting the little things, stay healthy, stay strong, skate clean.

Whether they would win gold or not was another matter, but they would do everything they could to make sure they did. They would give it their very best shot. That way, at the end of the day, wherever they placed, so long as they leave the ice with no regrets and nothing left to give, they could leave the games happy.

But in January that year, not even a month before the games, it didn't look like they'd even get the chance to go after the Olympic title they so desperately desired. Tessa was in so much pain, it broke his heart every day to see her push through it, just like she did two years ago. She shut him out, isolating herself from him and the partnership they'd worked so hard to build back up after her surgery.

He tried to help, he did. He wanted to do everything for her, everything he could possibly do to relieve her and help her. Their training mates would swear they thought he'd take the pain for her if he could, just so she would be okay. He didn't think they were completely wrong.

After a while, she shut him out completely. She trained through the injury and ignored the searing pain spreading through her shins, only getting worse with every second they were on the ice. Scott tried to get her to slow down, to relax a little; to not push herself so hard. At this rate, they wouldn't even make it to Vancouver.

His efforts to help were only met with a 'leave me alone, Scott'. So that he did. If that was what she wanted, if that would help, if she needed to do this herself, he'd let her do it. Even if it broke his own heart to stay away from her, if it healed hers, he'd do it.

He'd do anything for her, of course he would. He loved her, after all.

_***_

Tessa didn't want this.

Scott hadn't spoken to her off the ice in a week, not since she told him to leave her alone. She didn't mean it, not really. She needed him, she didn't want him to leave her alone. She was secretly grateful for all he did for her, because as great as Meryl was with helping her out with her injury, she didn't understand like Scott did. It took a whole week of being alone before she broke and confessed everything to the girl who'd become more like a sister than a rival over the years.

                 “I told him to leave me alone, but I didn't mean it, Mer, I didn't. He probably hates me now, or thinks that I hate him, but I don't. I love him, I do!” She protested through her tears. “I need him, I need this; I need our partnership. I can't do it all without him, but I'm so scared. It's so bad already, what if I don't make it to the Olympics? Scott will hate me. He should find a new partner, one that isn't always holding him back because she's injured all the time.”

                 “You don't mean that, Tess. You're just upset.” Meryl reasoned, and hugged the younger girl close to her. She hated to see her so upset, it broke her own heart. “Scott doesn't hate you, silly girl. He adores you. And even if you didn't make it to Vancouver, which you will, he wouldn't even hate you then. You know he'd put you and your health above a gold medal. Or at least I'd hope you know that.”

                “I don’t wanna let him down.” She said softly, tears still trailing her cheeks. “I could never live with myself if I took away his dream. _Our_ dream. It was supposed to be us until the end. This was supposed to be _our_ games. Us and you and Charlie, we were all supposed to go together. Team Canton on the podium together, remember?”

                “We’re still going to have that, I promise. You’re going to go to Vancouver and so are we and we’re going to totally beat your ass and you’ll have to listen to Star Spangled Banner when we get our medals.” She was glad at least this elicited a laugh out of her upset friend.

                “No way, you’re going to get _your_ asses handed to you. You’ll have to listen to Oh Canada when we get _our_ medals.”

                “That’s better.” Meryl smiled, knowing a trash talking Tessa was better than a crying Tessa, even if they were both joking each other. They’d be happy for whoever won.

                “It just hurts so much, Meryl. I don’t know what to do. Some days I don’t know if I can really do this anymore. I’m scared I won’t make it.” She’s still tearful, but allows herself to be comforted by her training mate, she was always good at making her see sense.

                “Tessa, I love you but you need to have this conversation with Scott, not me. I can tell you a hundred times that I believe in you but we both know you need to hear it from him.” All the compliments in the world mean nothing if they’re not from the right person, and Tessa knows it. Meryl squeezes her friend tightly, giving her a hug before pulling herself up from the floor in the locker room, leaving Tessa and her ice bags and her thoughts while she heads to find Scott.

***

Leaving the locker room, she bumps into her own partner, who seemed to be heading in her general direction. When they both start talking at the same time, Charlie lets Meryl go first.

                “Where’s Scott?” She asks, hoping he has some kind of clue.

                “Funny, I was just about to ask you where Tessa is. Scott’s moping in the locker room. Something about Tessa not speaking to him and telling him to leave her alone? Do you know what’s going on? I couldn’t get much out of him.” He explains his talk with Scott, which sounds remarkably similar to Meryl’s with Tessa, and she almost laughs at how ridiculous the whole situation is. Even when they’re going through tough times, they’re still so in sync with each other.

                “Yeah, I’ll explain later. Just go get Scott and tell him to come here so I can smack him upside the head. Actually, don’t tell him that part. Just get him to come here.” She makes her request and Charlie complies, returning no more than a minute later with a mopey Scott Moir in tow. “What is wrong with you?” She exclaims, smacking him over the head as she told Charlie she would.

                “Ouch, Mer. I think the better question is what is wrong with you? What the hell was that for?” He complains as he rubs the back of his head, and Meryl looks at him in exasperation.   

                “Are you completely blind, or stupid, Scott?”

                “Well right now you look pretty mad so I’d say no.” He teases, and she glares at him. “Jeez, what is it? If you’re finally ready to admit you have a crush on me, just say so. No judging.”

She smacks him even harder for that one.

                “Don’t be heinous. I’m serious. Do you know where Tessa is right now?”

                “No. She won’t speak to me, how am I supposed to know? Why’d you wanna know anyway?”

                “I don’t need to know, you idiot. I just spent the last half hour trying to get her to stop crying because she’s so god damn concerned about you and your relationship and Vancouver.”

                “Wait, what?” Now he’s concerned. Tessa might not be speaking to him and might want them to be apart, but he can’t handle the thought of her upset. And about him? So she did care?

                “It’s better if she explains. Just go to her, please. She needs you.”

That’s enough to warrant the urgency she expected, the urgency she knew the real Scott Moir had inside him when it came to Tessa Virtue. He runs into the locker room at the direction of Meryl, and he doesn’t know what he expects, but what he finds breaks his heart.

***

The second he runs in, he realises Meryl was right. He had to have been completely stupid not to notice how Tessa felt, what she needed, who she needed.

                “Scotty…” She trails off, gulping back a sob as she looks up at him, and she thinks for a minute he’ll just stand there and do nothing. She’s pleasantly surprised when he quick walks across the room and wraps her in his arms, letting her cry it out onto his shoulder, mindful of the ice bags adoring her legs. He hates that he wasn’t here to help her.

                “Shush, it’s okay. It’s all going to be alright, Tutu. I promise. We’ll get through this.” He chokes back his own tears, because this is about Tessa and he didn’t matter when she was like this.

                “It hurts so much, Scotty. It really hurts.” She cries, and he sees the innocent 18 year old girl he knew only two years ago in this exact position. Only this time, it’s not just a grand prix season they could miss, but the Olympics. Their Olympics.

                “I know, Tess, I know. I wish I could make it better for you, I would gladly take the pain for you if I could.” He strokes her hair gently, dropping light kisses on the top of her head occasionally too. He knows it’s one of the only things that works when she needs comfort. That and chocolate. He’ll have to dig out his stash that he secretly keeps for her.

                “I’m sorry.” She chokes out, and Scott tells her not to be ridiculous. He should’ve known, he should’ve done something. He shouldn’t have left her alone. “I didn’t mean to push you away. I needed you, but I was too scared to say it. I’m still scared. I’m so scared I won’t make it to Vancouver. Some days it hurts so much I’m just not sure I can keep going. But I don’t want to let you down, Scott. It’s supposed to be _our_ Olympics, _our_ gold medal.”

                “It still will be, Tess. Promise. Whether in Vancouver or Sochi, we’ll be on top of an Olympic podium someday. I know we will. I’d much rather you were healthy than have a gold medal. Every time.” He hopes she knows it already, but sometimes things need to be said to reinforce the unsaid.

                “I want this Olympics, though. I want us to win gold on home turf.”

                “So we will. God, Tessa, I’ll do anything. If you can’t skate too long, we won’t. If you can’t walk, I’ll carry you. I’ll carry you any and everywhere you need. Promise.” She laughs at the thought, but leans her head on his shoulder and knows he means it. “Anything we can do, we’ll do it.”

                “We?” She questions, because it’s her that should be doing things differently, not him.

                “Course. We’re a team. You and me against the world, Tess. That’s all that matters. Virtue and Moir forever.” He smiles and offers her a hand, and she takes it, intertwining their fingers and forcing herself to believe his every word.

_We can do this. Virtue and Moir against the world, forever. I like the sound of that._

 

 


End file.
